It's not easy being green.

...Now she was home, yet finding herself not "at home". In the rush of language as she told us her feelings and adventures, she occasionally stopped to grope for the right word - able to only say it in Spanish. Her two worlds had not yet clearly sorted themselves out.

..."All your life you've grown up blue. You lived in a blue neighbourhood, you went to a blue school, you ate blue food - and you spoke fluent Blue. Although there are many shades of blue, you all recognized each other as being at least in the same end of the spectrum. Acting blue has always been second nature.

Until now. You went to a place where everyone spoke, ate, thought, gestured, joked, and acted in yellow. You even began speaking Yellow. But, although you felt more and more comfortable in your new world, you never really became one of them, did you? You changed, but you never became completely yellow.

And now you've come to discover that - not only are you not yellow - you're no longer blue either!"

It's true. Those of us who have worked cross-culturally in God's kingdom are changed by the experience. And change isn't always comfortable. I recall many times during our 18 year long service in Bolivia being wrenched by the realization that, no matter how much I loved these people, identified with them, worked along side with them, I would always be different. This wild, wonderful, wacky country I had grown to love would never really be home.

And then came the painful and surprising discovery that "Home" wasn't home either. So where did we belong anyway? Who am I? Where is home? Is there a place where I belong?

Although these questions continue to surface from time to time, my husband and I have learned to cultivate a strong sense of family as home - and an inner knowing that God's will and His loving presence provide our belonging-place. 

So yes, being green has its advantages. You now have the richness of being able to look at life through a much wider window. You've experienced more poinst-of-view, colours, flavours, accents, and rhythms than you ever would have just staying in your blue world. You probably have a clearer perspective of what's valuable and what's expendable. Hopefully you've learned to travel light. That will serve you well.

We green people also have the ability to identify with a certain reality. Scripture teaches that our real situation in this world, as children of the kingdom, is as pilgrims and sojourners. "Aliens," Peter calls us (1 Peter 1:17, 2:11; Hebrews 11:13). Apparently we're not supposed to get too attached. Green people find comfort in this - and they can certainly identify with it.

The longing for belonging won't go away, because God put it there - but it will be realized someday. It's not a cruel joke. Someday we will belong. We will find our home and discover it to be peopled by blues and yellows and greens and purples and browns, a rainbow glory gathered around the Father of Lights, the Creator of all this colour and diversity. He's the reason we go out into the coloured world today.

Meanwhile, just enjoy the journey - accepting the discomforts as well as the joys of this colourful process. Being green is not easy. But it's good.

The Barclay Press, Newberg, Oregon. 1996