To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large to worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.
Christian D. Larson
Monday, August 27, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
North Coast
This is how we enjoy the North Coast in a few photos. God created fun, friendship, laughter, love, the ocean, sun and beauty. And I praise him for all of those things and more!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
every summer has a story.
Today was a beautiful day full of sun and rain, green in landscapes and blue in the ocean, noisy in laughter and quiet in mind. We went down to the Downhill Strand, which is a beautiful beach close to Castlerock, one you can drive in to so we were able to park close to the waves, on the sand. We took our sandals off and went into the waves with our trousers rolled up. At first we were being careful about not getting our clothes wet, but soon we gave in to the beauty and fun of creation and enjoyed it fully, ending up completely soaked.
This is one of our days up north, spent greatly in great company.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Just. Slow. Down.
Life is not an emergency.
Life's a gift.
Just. Slow. Down.
Now is not a forever grace but amazing grace.
Sometimes the slowest way is the fastest way to JOY.
Make time today, even just a moment, to read Scripture and memorize it.
{Slowest = Fastest joy.}
Laughter is the cheapest, holiest medicine.
Preschoolers laugh 300 times a day.
Aim for double that!
Don't miss a thing.
A minute dawdled here, a minute scrolling here - they can add up to your life.
Write down the intentions for your day and prayerfully spend your life well by paying attention to the small things.
A whole life can be lost in minutes wasted, small moments missed.
Believe it: He has all you need today.
The needs of our day are great but God is greater. We call Him Providence because He always provides.
{And when God provides, He should be praised. And if God always provides, shouldn't praise always be on the lips?}
Slow. Children at play.
Time's this priceless currency and only the slow spend it wise enough to be rich.
If we had to actually buy our time, would we spend it more wisely - spend it more slowly?
{God's Word never says Hurry Up, it only whispers, Wake Up.}
Love is patient.
Parenting is this gentle way of bending over in humility to help the scraped child up because we intimately know it takes a lifetime to learn how to walk with Him.
Patience. Love always begins with patience and patience is a willingness to suffer.
Sleep In Peace
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
~Psalm 4:8
See the "I will?" It's a decision.
You don't have to be a victim of insomnia. I have always had trouble falling asleep. The moment I hit the pillow I think of everything. My mind is so loud. The second before falling asleep is the most active second of my life, in my mind. I know that falling asleep with a full and active mind does not predict to a peaceful sleep. I could sleep for 8-10 hours, still I will feel tired the next day and that will not help me in being a blessing to be around. Good sleep helps your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
There is a few simple things you can do today, that will help you sleep in peace.
1) Modify your eating habits. See my previous post.
2) Create the right environment. The ideal sleep atmosphere is dark, quiet and cool.
3) Establish a nighttime routine. Find a way to unwind and do the same thing every night. If possible, end your routine by getting to bed around the same time every night.
4) Keep a notebook by your bed. If your mind is full and you can't stop thinking about things that worry you, concern you, things that need to be done and planned, write it down. I never thought this actually helped to remove them from my mind, but it did. Try it and you'll be surprised!
These are things that helped me. I hope they help you, too, and you find your perfect nighttime routine and pattern to feel better. Any tips? Share! ;-)
~Psalm 4:8
See the "I will?" It's a decision.
You don't have to be a victim of insomnia. I have always had trouble falling asleep. The moment I hit the pillow I think of everything. My mind is so loud. The second before falling asleep is the most active second of my life, in my mind. I know that falling asleep with a full and active mind does not predict to a peaceful sleep. I could sleep for 8-10 hours, still I will feel tired the next day and that will not help me in being a blessing to be around. Good sleep helps your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
There is a few simple things you can do today, that will help you sleep in peace.
1) Modify your eating habits. See my previous post.
2) Create the right environment. The ideal sleep atmosphere is dark, quiet and cool.
3) Establish a nighttime routine. Find a way to unwind and do the same thing every night. If possible, end your routine by getting to bed around the same time every night.
4) Keep a notebook by your bed. If your mind is full and you can't stop thinking about things that worry you, concern you, things that need to be done and planned, write it down. I never thought this actually helped to remove them from my mind, but it did. Try it and you'll be surprised!
These are things that helped me. I hope they help you, too, and you find your perfect nighttime routine and pattern to feel better. Any tips? Share! ;-)
Resolve to Control Your Eating Habits
"But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, but the official told Daniel, 'I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.'
Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 'Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.' So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.
At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food."
~ Daniel 1:11-15
Daniel believed it was important to observe healthy eating habits, even when doing so involved a lot of extra effort. He didn't do it because it was convenient; he was willing to do what was inconvenient. Eating healthily has always taken extra effort and it always will. But it's worth it.
This morning in my quiet time I was challenged to take Daniel's eating habits on, and put it to test myself. I was challenged to eat and drink only vegetables and water. At the end of the ten days, I am to see how much better I look and feel.
I am excited and will let you know how it went and how I feel when it's over.
"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control."
~ Proverbs 25:28
Did you know that sugar literally breaks down your immune system?
Did you know that...
...6 teaspoons of sugar in one sitting will decrease your immune function by 25 %
...12 teaspoons of sugar will decrease your immune function by 60 %
...24 teaspoons of sugar will decrease your immune function by 92 %
Self-control is your personal city wall. Don't be like a city with walls broken-down. Control how much sugar you eat during a day and you will feel so much better!
What we eat, and how much we eat, has a profound impact on our body, soul, and spirit. Learn to satisfy your hunger with good things: time with God, time with good friends, fresh air, long walks. Don't live to eat; eat to live!
Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 'Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.' So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.
At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food."
~ Daniel 1:11-15
Daniel believed it was important to observe healthy eating habits, even when doing so involved a lot of extra effort. He didn't do it because it was convenient; he was willing to do what was inconvenient. Eating healthily has always taken extra effort and it always will. But it's worth it.
This morning in my quiet time I was challenged to take Daniel's eating habits on, and put it to test myself. I was challenged to eat and drink only vegetables and water. At the end of the ten days, I am to see how much better I look and feel.
I am excited and will let you know how it went and how I feel when it's over.
"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control."
~ Proverbs 25:28
Did you know that sugar literally breaks down your immune system?
Did you know that...
...6 teaspoons of sugar in one sitting will decrease your immune function by 25 %
...12 teaspoons of sugar will decrease your immune function by 60 %
...24 teaspoons of sugar will decrease your immune function by 92 %
Self-control is your personal city wall. Don't be like a city with walls broken-down. Control how much sugar you eat during a day and you will feel so much better!
What we eat, and how much we eat, has a profound impact on our body, soul, and spirit. Learn to satisfy your hunger with good things: time with God, time with good friends, fresh air, long walks. Don't live to eat; eat to live!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Bucket List
1. Walk the Great Wall of China
2. See Rio de Janeiro
3. Go to Tokyo
4. See Alaska
5. Spend Christmas in a foreign country
6. visit Cape Town
7. write a book
8. speak fluent Italian
9. lead a women's conference
10. learn to play the harp
11. adopt
12. visit Disneyland
13. grow a vegetable garden
14. have Kuba walk me down the aisle
15. have bilingual children
16. run a marathon
17. get a photo with Santa
18. get a puppy
19. learn to knit
20. learn to surf
21. see Rome
22. snowboard in Colorado
23. swim in the Dead Sea
24. read all CSLewis books
25. go to Mirabilandia
26. read the whole Bible
27. go on a real USA road trip
28. go to Israel
29. see the Berlin Wall
30. own a record player & all Coldplay records
31. overcome my fear or riding horses
32. visit the art museum in NYC
33. see Coldplay live
34. go to Boston
35. visit Portland
36. visit Chicago
37. get a ride on a gondola in Venice
38. ride a jet ski
39. go paragliding
40. see the Venice festival in February
41. do zorbing
42. see Auschwitz
43. go to a drive-in-movie
44. visit Petra
45. see a real baseball game in America
2. See Rio de Janeiro
3. Go to Tokyo
4. See Alaska
5. Spend Christmas in a foreign country
6. visit Cape Town
7. write a book
8. speak fluent Italian
9. lead a women's conference
10. learn to play the harp
11. adopt
12. visit Disneyland
13. grow a vegetable garden
14. have Kuba walk me down the aisle
15. have bilingual children
16. run a marathon
17. get a photo with Santa
18. get a puppy
19. learn to knit
20. learn to surf
21. see Rome
22. snowboard in Colorado
23. swim in the Dead Sea
24. read all CSLewis books
25. go to Mirabilandia
26. read the whole Bible
27. go on a real USA road trip
28. go to Israel
29. see the Berlin Wall
30. own a record player & all Coldplay records
31. overcome my fear or riding horses
32. visit the art museum in NYC
33. see Coldplay live
34. go to Boston
35. visit Portland
36. visit Chicago
37. get a ride on a gondola in Venice
38. ride a jet ski
39. go paragliding
40. see the Venice festival in February
41. do zorbing
42. see Auschwitz
43. go to a drive-in-movie
44. visit Petra
45. see a real baseball game in America
Pineapple Ginger Smoothie
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups fresh Pineapple, diced
1 Banana
1/2 cup Greek Yogurt
1 tbsp fresh Ginger, grated
1/2 cup Ice
1/2 cup Pineapple Juice or Water
YUM.
Yum Tomato Tart
Heirloom Tomato Tart with Pesto and Goat Cheese
Ingredients:
Tomato Tart Ingredients:
Tart Dough
1lb fresh Tomatoes, sliced
1/4 cup Pesto (recipe follows)
1/2 medium sized Onion, sliced
1 tbsp fresh Thyme Leaves
Sea Salt, Black Pepper
Pesto Ingredients:
4 tbsp Pinenuts, toasted
15 Walnut halves
4 black Peppercorns
2 medium sized cloves of Garlic
4 cups Basil Leaves
6 oz freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano
1 tbsp fresh Lemon Juice
1 tsp Sea Salt
1 1/2 cups Olive Oil
Directions:
Tart Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 F/205'C
1. Make tart dough and roll out into 9" or 10" tart pan. Trim excess dough.
2. Press the bottom of the tart with your fingers, making indentions in the bottom.
3. Spread the 1/4 cup of Pesto over the bottom of the crust.
4. Layer in the Onions, creating a light layer loosely covering the bottom of the tart. Layer Tomatoes on top of the Onions.
5. Crumble the Goat Cheese into large chunks and spread over the tart. Sprinkle Thyme leave over tart. Season tart with Sea Salt and Black Pepper for taste.
6. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until Cheese and edges of Tomatoes are starting to char, and crust is golden.
Pesto Directions:
1. Combine nuts, peppercorns, and garlic in a food processor. Pulse a few times to break up and combine.
2. Add basil leaves, cheese, lemon juice, salt and 1/2 cup of olive oil in processor. Grind until very fine.
3. Gradually add remaining oil grinding until smooth.
YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!
Ingredients:
Tomato Tart Ingredients:
Tart Dough
1lb fresh Tomatoes, sliced
1/4 cup Pesto (recipe follows)
1/2 medium sized Onion, sliced
1 tbsp fresh Thyme Leaves
Sea Salt, Black Pepper
Pesto Ingredients:
4 tbsp Pinenuts, toasted
15 Walnut halves
4 black Peppercorns
2 medium sized cloves of Garlic
4 cups Basil Leaves
6 oz freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano
1 tbsp fresh Lemon Juice
1 tsp Sea Salt
1 1/2 cups Olive Oil
Directions:
Tart Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 F/205'C
1. Make tart dough and roll out into 9" or 10" tart pan. Trim excess dough.
2. Press the bottom of the tart with your fingers, making indentions in the bottom.
3. Spread the 1/4 cup of Pesto over the bottom of the crust.
4. Layer in the Onions, creating a light layer loosely covering the bottom of the tart. Layer Tomatoes on top of the Onions.
5. Crumble the Goat Cheese into large chunks and spread over the tart. Sprinkle Thyme leave over tart. Season tart with Sea Salt and Black Pepper for taste.
6. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until Cheese and edges of Tomatoes are starting to char, and crust is golden.
Pesto Directions:
1. Combine nuts, peppercorns, and garlic in a food processor. Pulse a few times to break up and combine.
2. Add basil leaves, cheese, lemon juice, salt and 1/2 cup of olive oil in processor. Grind until very fine.
3. Gradually add remaining oil grinding until smooth.
YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!
10 ways to love.
LISTEN Proverbs 18:24 ENJOY Philippians 2:14
without interrupting without complaint
SPEAK James 1:19 TRUST 1 Corinthians 13:7
without accusing without wavering
GIVE Proverbs 21:26 FORGIVE Colossians 3:13
without sparing without punishing
PRAY Colossians 1:9 PROMISE Proverbs 13:12
without ceasing without forgetting
ANSWER Proverbs 17:1 SHARE Ephesians 4:15
without arguing without pretending
Thursday, August 16, 2012
April through August
April 19
I boarded an EasyJet plane with a full suitcase and a full heart as well as a full mind; from Krakow, Poland to Belfast, Northern Ireland. My booking was one way; no return flight, no return date. Did I realize this as I found my window seat and waited patiently to take off? Not at all. To be honest I don't think I fully realize it now, either. Now is 4 months later and I am writing this post in my new house in Belfast. Things change and life goes on, thankfully God is still and never changes. Let me tell you more about my journey with Him so far, and how His character has been keeping me strong even when I feel so weak.
April 19 - July 17
These three months were full in every way I can think of. I lived with my Bowman family and helped around the house, enjoyed being part of the youth ministry in Saintfield for a bit again and helped finish off strong for summer, taught a little bit of Czech at our mission trip team meetings, and was part of our fundraisers. This all kept us busy up until the day we left for Prague. A week before we took off, Selah Grace Bowman was born into this world :)
There were days in these months where I missed home, but they were not frequent and busyness didn't let me dwell on it too much. Although, I noticed I was growing a little numb (the best way to describe it after a long time of thinking when I journalled about it earlier) towards everything. Maybe it's because the days were so full and life was so busy. I was sure God was with me every day, I knew his presence was real, but I knew I could be closer to Him. Still He loved me and carried me through my days & weeks. Faithful as He always is. Real as only He can be. Gentle as ever.
July 17 - August 1
Czech. Prague. Orlicke hory. English Camp. Follow Up. People. Camp songs. Games. Breaking my comfort zones. Challenge. Translation. Collision of languages. Cultures. Driving on the right. The language. The humor. Tears of laughter. Kuba. My country.
Yes people make fun of me for being from Russia, but I actually am from the Czech Republic. When we landed in Prague on the late Tuesday afternoon, took a bus to Krystal, checked in and went for a walk around Prague I must say I knew I was home. I never realized how much energy it requires of me to walk in NI where people drive on the other side of the road. It's not that it's wrong or it bothers me, not at all. But it is different and believe me or not, I am still getting used to it (I prefer looking both directions before crossing in NI, because I just can never remember where to look first.) But that night in Prague, I did not have to think twice and things just came so naturally to me. I felt so light, I felt so good.
So after this little experience with being back after three months you can guess the next week or so was quite difficult on me. I just wanted to stay. I was thankful though that I experienced what I did on the first night, because I still had two weeks ahead of me to pray about it and to let God change my attitude in it. As the end of our time in Czech came closer and closer, I felt better. I knew I was only seeing things grey in Ireland and bright in Czech because that's how I wanted to see it, not because it was necessarily true. I was still confused and emotional about leaving, but my attitude was changed and I was able to believe in my heart that God knew what He was doing even if I had no idea. Yet again He worked mightily in my mind and in my whole being, so silently and ever gently, I didn't even recognize it until it was all ready to be revealed to me and I knew He had me, I knew He had my heart.
At the JV debrief in Prague after camp, as we sang the song "You Never Let Go," I wrote in my journal these words: If You never let go in every high and every low, through the calm and through the storm, why would You let me go in Czech or Ireland? It doesn't matter where I am, because You NEVER let go!"
What a great truth to realize two days before heading back to Saintfield.
August 1 - present.
It's August 16 today.We have been back for a while. Our first week home we had Route 316 in the evenings, which was like a mini camp for children. At the end of that week we had two youth events and all of these things helped me to realize I am back, and I am back for a while. This is my home now. Maybe it will never feel like a home home, but this is where I belong for this particular time in my life. Not forever, but for today. God has been faithful and so very good to me. The weather has been amazing, my mind is very positive, I am excited for what the near future holds.
"I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know the One who holds tomorrow."
Maybe this is a different culture. Maybe their humor is different. Maybe they grew up watching different movies. Maybe sometimes I don't understand what they are talking about. Maybe they don't understand me. Maybe I don't even try to explain. Maybe this whole change is changing me. Maybe I am changing. Maybe it is shaping me into somebody new. Maybe I don't understand and am not understood at times.
But I know God is with me. He carries my heart and holds my hand. He sets the path for me to go and I walk close to Him, knowing his love, gentleness, kindness and understanding in all I do. Step by step as I take it walking into the center of this city. Moment by moment as I try to figure out the next move. Box by box as I unpack and move into my new house. Thought by thought as I try to deal with what I see, hear and feel. Move by move as I try to see who I was, who I am, and who I am changing into.
It's an adventure. It's a book, and I started a new chapter. Will you walk in prayer with me, anticipating the next thing He brings me to? I will share along the way.
Stay strong.
1 Corinthians 13
A Guide to Crossing Cultural Barriers
If I speak with the tongue of a national, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.
If I wear the national dress and understand the culture and all forms of etiquette, and if I copy all mannerisms so that I could pass for a national, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor, and if I spend my energy without reserve, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love endures long hours of language study, and is kind to those who mock his accent; love does not envy those who stayed home; love does not exalt his home culture, is not proud of his national reputation,
does not boast about the way we do it back home, does not seek his own ways, is not easily provoked into telling about the beauty of his home country, does not think evil about this culture;
Love bears all criticism about his home culture, believes all good things about this new culture, confidently anticipates being at home in this place, endures all inconveniences.
Love never fails: but where there is cultural anthropology, it will fail; where there is contextualization, it will cease; where there is linguistics, it will vanish.
For we know only part of the culture and we ministry to only part.
But when Christ is reproduced in this cultures, then our inadequacies will be insignificant.
When I was in Czech, I spoke as a Czech, I understood as a Czech, I thought as a Czech; but when I left Czech, I became a learner of a new culture!
Now we adapt to this culture awkwardly; but He will live in it intimately; now I speak with a strange accent, but He will speak directly to the heart.
And now these three remain: cultural adaptation, language study and love.
But the greatest of these is LOVE.
If I speak with the tongue of a national, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.
If I wear the national dress and understand the culture and all forms of etiquette, and if I copy all mannerisms so that I could pass for a national, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor, and if I spend my energy without reserve, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love endures long hours of language study, and is kind to those who mock his accent; love does not envy those who stayed home; love does not exalt his home culture, is not proud of his national reputation,
does not boast about the way we do it back home, does not seek his own ways, is not easily provoked into telling about the beauty of his home country, does not think evil about this culture;
Love bears all criticism about his home culture, believes all good things about this new culture, confidently anticipates being at home in this place, endures all inconveniences.
Love never fails: but where there is cultural anthropology, it will fail; where there is contextualization, it will cease; where there is linguistics, it will vanish.
For we know only part of the culture and we ministry to only part.
But when Christ is reproduced in this cultures, then our inadequacies will be insignificant.
When I was in Czech, I spoke as a Czech, I understood as a Czech, I thought as a Czech; but when I left Czech, I became a learner of a new culture!
Now we adapt to this culture awkwardly; but He will live in it intimately; now I speak with a strange accent, but He will speak directly to the heart.
And now these three remain: cultural adaptation, language study and love.
But the greatest of these is LOVE.
It's not easy being green.
...Now she was home, yet finding herself not "at home". In the rush of language as she told us her feelings and adventures, she occasionally stopped to grope for the right word - able to only say it in Spanish. Her two worlds had not yet clearly sorted themselves out.
..."All your life you've grown up blue. You lived in a blue neighbourhood, you went to a blue school, you ate blue food - and you spoke fluent Blue. Although there are many shades of blue, you all recognized each other as being at least in the same end of the spectrum. Acting blue has always been second nature.
Until now. You went to a place where everyone spoke, ate, thought, gestured, joked, and acted in yellow. You even began speaking Yellow. But, although you felt more and more comfortable in your new world, you never really became one of them, did you? You changed, but you never became completely yellow.
And now you've come to discover that - not only are you not yellow - you're no longer blue either!"
It's true. Those of us who have worked cross-culturally in God's kingdom are changed by the experience. And change isn't always comfortable. I recall many times during our 18 year long service in Bolivia being wrenched by the realization that, no matter how much I loved these people, identified with them, worked along side with them, I would always be different. This wild, wonderful, wacky country I had grown to love would never really be home.
And then came the painful and surprising discovery that "Home" wasn't home either. So where did we belong anyway? Who am I? Where is home? Is there a place where I belong?
Although these questions continue to surface from time to time, my husband and I have learned to cultivate a strong sense of family as home - and an inner knowing that God's will and His loving presence provide our belonging-place.
So yes, being green has its advantages. You now have the richness of being able to look at life through a much wider window. You've experienced more poinst-of-view, colours, flavours, accents, and rhythms than you ever would have just staying in your blue world. You probably have a clearer perspective of what's valuable and what's expendable. Hopefully you've learned to travel light. That will serve you well.
We green people also have the ability to identify with a certain reality. Scripture teaches that our real situation in this world, as children of the kingdom, is as pilgrims and sojourners. "Aliens," Peter calls us (1 Peter 1:17, 2:11; Hebrews 11:13). Apparently we're not supposed to get too attached. Green people find comfort in this - and they can certainly identify with it.
The longing for belonging won't go away, because God put it there - but it will be realized someday. It's not a cruel joke. Someday we will belong. We will find our home and discover it to be peopled by blues and yellows and greens and purples and browns, a rainbow glory gathered around the Father of Lights, the Creator of all this colour and diversity. He's the reason we go out into the coloured world today.
Meanwhile, just enjoy the journey - accepting the discomforts as well as the joys of this colourful process. Being green is not easy. But it's good.
The Barclay Press, Newberg, Oregon. 1996
Ellen Bass
To love life, to love even when
you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its
tropical heat thickening the air,
heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, Yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
~Ellen Bass
you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its
tropical heat thickening the air,
heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, Yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
~Ellen Bass
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