You raised me up

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

morning fun @ 48 faneST

Joanne and Louise have finally moved into the house with Rose and I this past Sunday evening. They both started university back on Monday, and it has been fun spending time with and getting to know them. They are both lovely and it has been fun coming home after work knowing my housemates are there.

We wanted to have dinner together some night of our first week living together, but no night of this week worked for all of us so we simply decided to make pancakes for breakfast. It was so fun getting up and making pancakes together before we started our busy days wherever we were going - school, work, meetings...

Here is a few photos and also a recipe we followed, because they were SO yummy :) I picked this recipe at the Belfast Autumn Fair a few weeks ago, and hung it up in our kitchen. Here it is:

Banana Yogurt Pancakes
(feeds 2)
1 egg, lightly beaten
125ml milk
125ml natural yogurt
2 bananas, mashed with a fork
150g plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon brown sugar
pinch of salt

1. Mix together the egg, milk, yogurt and bananas.
2. Sieve the flour with the baking powder into a large bowl, then stir in the 'wet' ingredients, sugar and salt. The batter will look a little lumpy. Transfer to a mixing jug and allow to stand for 10 minutes.
3. Heat a lightly oiled frying pan over a medium heat until smoking hot. Turn the heat down and pour small batches of batter into the pan. Cook on each side until golden.
4. Serve hot.

"Watch the sunrise at least once in a year, put a lot of marshmallows in your hot chocolate, lie on your back and look at the stars, never buy a coffee table that you can't put your feet on, never pass up a chance to jump on a trampoline, don't overlook life's small joys while searching for the big ones."
-H. Jackson Brown Jr.

whose am i

Isn't this giving away the way to have it all?

There are times of confusion, times of questions, times of doubt, times of feeling overwhelmed, times of having tons of thoughts but no thoughts at all. There are times in our lives where we find ourselves challenged in who we are, and whose we are. And it is completely up to us how we deal with it. We have a choice, because we are free, free in Christ. We have a choice of attitude - we could embrace it and learn from it through prayer and stillness, or we could give up and become bitter.

But when you have the choice - why would you want to become bitter?

I find myself at this place this week.
I know who I am. I am a quiet person who likes quality times with her friends and people she holds close & dear. I am a girl who seeks to be alone quite a lot, who would rather spend a quiet morning in her room rearranging her drawers and shelves - yet again. 

But I am challenged in who I am and in who I want to be.

Sometimes God sends things into my days and hours I never expected. That's why I don't like planning much ahead - God has a strange sense of humor. And when he does that, I have to keep reminding myself of whose I am, rather than who I am. I have to keep reminding myself that I am a daughter of the King, yes, but not only that - I have a purpose for walking this Earth and my purpose is to be Christ to all around me. ALL around me.

"To some people you are the only Bible they will ever read." 

My purpose is to serve selflessly, love unconditionally, every living creature on this Earth. It's that stranger I walked past this morning who wouldn't look at anybody. It's that woman sitting on the corner of my street begging for money. It's that happy couple I walked past as they laughed. It's the busy Mum I see walking out of Tesco with her hands and I can tell mind full, too. It's those people who think they have to get it all right. It's the people who think they are not enough. It's those I walk past daily who just need a simple smile. It's those who never head an encouraging word. It's those who feel unworthy. But it's also those who think they have it all. It's those who think they figured everything out by drinking so much alcohol just to forget the hurt in their lives. It's those who dress up every week and go out because if they didn't, their friends would abandon them. It's those who go with the flow because not doing it would be unacceptable. It's all those people - they are there for me to love. They are there for me to reach out to, with a touch, with a kind word, with a warm heart, and sometimes all it needs is a genuine smile. It's not a coincidence I walk past them every day - God placed them there knowing I would walk that road today, and knowing I do have the love, do have the smile, do have the Cross in me to show Christ to them.

And when I am challenged in whose I am and I have a choice between acting the way I feel or acting the way I decided to when I first accepted Jesus, I have to remind myself of all the love He showed me on the Cross. Because when I do, I become humble and I can't do anything but show people the same kind of love, because it was for ME he did it, but for YOU and YOU and YOU as well. He gave His ALL for us.

So isn't this giving away of ourselves the way to have it all?

I feel so peopled out this week. I am a quiet girl, and I get peopled out easily. I would rather stay home this weekend and not see a human being. But then I look at whose I am, and I can do nothing but be with people.

And then I come to realize, it's the smallest things in life that count.

"A whole life can be lost in minutes wasted, small moments missed."

Sometimes we have to count the smallest things in life, in our every day life, to see the bigger picture. It's the couple laughing as they walk hand in hand. It's the sun rays that make you close your eyes as you walk. It's the moment you dive into your duvets at night after a long cold day. It's the text from a friend saying they are thinking of you. It's the smell of a freshly washed dishes. It's the warmth of your kitchen after dinner. It's the clouds in the sky that remind you of things and animals. It's the smell of the crispy air. It's the smile of the one you love. It's the hug from your brother. It's the kind word of a stranger. It's those angels God sends into your life. 
It's all those blessings He rains down on us we so often miss.

Sometimes you have to focus. Sometimes you have to make yourself look for those things. Sometimes you have to keep counting. Sometimes you have to be very intentional to even see them. But they are there. It doesn't come naturally to us, but it is a habit. As you look for them more, you will see them more clearly and it will become a part of you. And it is worth it because they are glimpses of heaven on Earth, glimpses of who He is, glimpses of how much He loves you. When you see them, you want to give all you away in order to have it all. To have Him all. Because only then you realize... 

...He is all you want, He is all you need.

So let me ask again. Isn't this giving away the way to have it all?

content.

I so like the sound of the word.

CONTENT.

Do you not? It sounds so... lovely. Content. I like the sound, but I really like the meaning.

{con-tent, adjective - desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.}

And I like it even more now, because I am it. I am content. I desire no more than what I have. I am satisfied. I am at peace. I feel at home. I know I am where I am supposed to be, at this time in my life. I know I have a purpose in being where I am, both physically and spiritually. I believe I am here for a reason, and that I had been called to be here. I try my best to live out this contentment, I try to live out the joy and peace I have within.

All because of the goodness of my Father.

I think sometimes the proof that God exists is that lightning doesn't strike, but rather grace comes flooding in, raining straight down and filling your heart and soul. 
I expected a storm. I know Ireland is rainy, but I mean a different kind of storm. A storm in my life, in my head, in my heart and in my whole being. I expected to be pushed around, thrown into all kinds of confusion and doubt, I expected sadness and depression to kick in, come flood my life. In my head I was leaving the sunny, easy-to-be-in country and coming (willingly) to an always-rainy, dark and cloudy place. I expected God to throw me in there, and leave me to figure things out by myself. How to live, how to be, how to do. How silly can I be - my God is nothing like that.

When my God calls, He doesn't stop there. When He calls, He loves. When He loves, He cares. When He cares, He provides. When He provides, He walks by your side. When He walks by your side, you are humbled. When you are humbled, you become thankful. When you are thankful, you love. When you love, you become content. And when you become content, you are at a perfect place to let grace flood your heart, to let God enter and take control of your life completely, and to sit back and enjoy the ride. 

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2

- one of my favourite verses from the Bible. Because it is true, and because I know it by experience. When we focus on God and God alone, things fall into their places and the puzzle pieces we didn't know fitted in are perfectly put together. I am humbled. I am thankful. I am amazed. He is so big it's fearful, yet so good it's beautiful. 

I don't get everything right. I am not a saint. I am not perfect or holy. I don't study the Scriptures every day. Not even every other day. I don't spend an hour every night on my knees before going to bed, praying. I don't always start my meals with thanks to my Father. I forget, I judge, I don't love enough, I am not always kind and I get it wrong most of the time. 
But I am a precious princess in the eyes of my Father, the King of kings. 

"Before there was any trees, any stars, before the whole Universe began - there was a God, and at that moment, He loved you." ~Matt Chandler

I am loved. More than I could ever imagine. I want to look to Him for everything, because His every thought for me is LOVE. He will never stop raining blessings in my life, and I pray I never stop being thankful for who He is and for who He makes me. 

I miss home. Of course I miss home. I will always miss it. It's home. It's Ostrava. As Russian as some people think it is. It's dark and not good for your lungs. It's messy and big and industrial. But forever I will hold it dear. I will always return, always go back. I miss my friends. I miss the little things that make Czechs Czech. I miss the way no one ever makes small talks. I am bad at small talk, and it is something I have to work on hard here in NIreland, because it is different and challenging and new. I miss the way no one is ever friendly to you in shops. I miss the proper sunny days, and Indian Summer in September, and deep snow in winter. Every time I walk on wet ground here in Ireland, I slow down and cautiously put my feet down expecting to fall any minute because it's ice - when really, people probably thing What's up with her! because this just doesn't happen here in Autumn. I miss the warmth of a home, because the heating here is so expensive. I miss knowing where to go for things, which shops to go to and which sections in those shops to see. I miss my ingredients, knowing what to do with them and cooking being so easy I don't really have to think about it. I miss Czech food. I miss hearing the language. I miss all things familiar, like cars on the right side of the road, buses at any time of a day, trams, Ostravice and bridges. I miss my youth group - the way we would always gather on Saturday nights, all contribute to our time together in some ways. I miss worshipping in Czech. I miss my group of friends I would always hang out with. I miss Relaks camp and being on its team. I miss Mum and I miss Kuba. I miss our late nights laughing together at stupid things. I miss having my auntie's family and Grandpa over playing games and having fun. I miss rizek and brambory and smazeny syr and chleba ve vajicku. I miss my dog. I miss the days I just could not be bothered taking him for a walk but did anyway. 
I miss it a lot.
But I always will.

I am now in my new home. And I love it!

I love the way I live a 10 minute walk away from my boy. I love that I get to speak, use and live in English every day. I love that I got to move out. I love trying out new recipes. I love it that every time I decide to cook dinner, it is an adventure - and it doesn't matter how many times before I had made it. I love that nobody understands where I'm coming from or what I'm thinking - because only God does and it leads me to be with Him daily, hourly. I love that I have to use the bus every time I want to go somewhere - because I really enjoy those times. I love it that I am growing more into who God wants me to be by being challenged daily in the smallest ways. I love that I am learning to be thankful in every situation and to count my blessings and see them all around me. I love that I am deepening my friendships here and making life-long friends. I love the culture. I love all the opportunities people and students get in this country. I love that there is so many minorities in Belfast. I love that I can go to the beach any day, whenever I decide to. I love that I get to walk past the Queen's University every night I walk home from work (I mean, it's so beautiful, who gets to do that every day!?) I love that people drink tea with milk and am thankful I now like it, too. I love that this country is so small and everyone knows each other, or is related. I love that I get to stay in and be part of Erin and Talitha's lives. I love that they use cheque books here, it's like from a movie. I love that going out to a coffee shop by yourself is not looked down upon. I love that they have mission shops. I love all the stuff they do for charity. I love that it's so green.

I am so thankful. SO thankful... to my Father for everything. I expected a storm, but received a rain of grace in my life. Sometimes it's the gentleness and quietness of God that transforms us most powerfully. And yes I did struggle after moving here, and more so after spending two weeks in the Czech Republic in summer. But sometimes you have to re-break to heal right.

Sometimes the great thing that heals us is doing a small thing again and again. I am trying my best to learn to satisfy my hunger by His Word, long walks, and finding joys in the daily challenges life brings.

It's not easy being green - by Nancy Thomas
...So yes, being green has its advantages. You now have the richness of being able to look at life through a much wider window. You've experienced more points-of-view, colours, flavors, accents, and rhythms than you ever would have just staying in your blue world.
We green people also have the ability to identify with a certain reality. Scripture teaches that our real situation in this world, as children of the kingdom, is as pilgrims and sojourners. "Aliens," Peter calls us. Apparently we're not supposed to get too attached. Green people find comfort in this - and they can certainly identify with it.
The longing for belonging won't go away, because God put it there - but it will be realized someday. It's not a cruel joke. Someday we will belong. We will find our home and discover it to be peopled by blues and yellows and greens and purples and browns - a rainbow glory gathered around the Father of Lights, the Creator of all this colour and diversity. He's the reason we go out into the coloured world today.
Meanwhile, just enjoy the journey - accepting the discomforts as well as the joys of this colourful process. Being green may not be easy. But it's good. 

I miss home, sometimes so much I could cry and it hurts to be. But I love my home now. And I think the important thing is to "Set your eyes on things above, not on earthly things." This world, this earth, these streets, this house, this room, this city, this country - any country, is not my home. My Home is with God. My Home is in my Father's stretched arms. My Home is my hiding place, in the wounds of my Savior. I will never be complete on this earth. In any city. In any house. In any room. Until I get to be HOME, where my Father makes me complete by His grace, His love. My Home is with Him, in Him. And I cannot wait!


"It's not the long walk home that will change this heart, it's the welcome I receive with every start." Mumford & Sons

october!

Autumn.
It has so many colours.
It is so cold.
It offers so much sunshine.
It makes you wear cardigans and your breath visible in the air.
It gives heavy rain and strong sun rays.
It lets you enjoy sleep ins and early beds.
It has you want to buy more scarfs.
It invites us to cook dinners with friends and enjoy the heat of the kitchen as much as laughs with our closest ones.
It always starts something new. New schools, new opportunities, new places, new faces, maybe new countries.
It definitely makes you want to go visit foreign countries.
It is the best season to go out to a beach.
It starts playing Christmas music and gives you perfect craft and DIY evenings.
It is the best season to spend hours on Pinterest.
It has pumpkin carving in it.
It means boots, cardigans, scarfs, make up, blankets, lots of tea&hot chocolate, and new books.
It is fun.
So fun.

And most important of all,
it includes Octobers!!!

October is my favourite month of every year. Yes, it is when I was born and I get to enjoy my birthday, but that is not the main reason, believe  it or not. I love Octobers because they are winter but not yet. Summer is definitely gone by then, but it is not time for snow or Christmas yet, either. It's perfect for reflection, thinking, walks, talks, friends, late night cinemas, cooking, creativity, early nights... simply being. It's a perfect month for being. I also enjoy this time of a year because the cold is still a novelty after summers. I still enjoy getting up early into the cold, I still enjoy going out just to be out for walks even though I know I will be so chilly, I still enjoy my visible breath in the air, I still enjoy and am thankful for how cold I get during the day because I know once I get into my bed at night, I will be warm and joyful again. I love Octobers!
And yes, it is my birthday month as well. I knew and still know some people who don't enjoy their birthdays at all, or don't make a big deal of them. And although I used to be one of those people, I definitely am not anymore. I love my birthday! I don't make a huge deal out of it, but I do enjoy that people want to spend time with me, because I like spending quality time with people I love. I have a little birthday theory: I think it's the best if your birthday is either on Wednesday or Friday - if it's on a Wednesday, you get to be celebrated both weekends - the one before your birthday and the one after, and if it's on a Friday, you get the whole weekend for yourself! :-)

I love Autumn, I love it right now, but I am really excited for October. Two more weeks!